Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
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Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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