it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
