so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
