my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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