I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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