if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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