Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
