i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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