The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize