tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize