do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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