Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
