If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
