And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
