i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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