He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
