his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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