I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
