uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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