Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My hand turned me down
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
