six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
