you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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