plz talk dirty to me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
