I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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