new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
