The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
