I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
