So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
