Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
"it" just moved
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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