so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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