I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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