i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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