Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
