My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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