First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
