you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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