I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
