I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
