Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
