Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
