Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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