I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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