it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
