i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
