I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love having hate sex.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
