yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
