So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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