i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
