so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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