finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
