I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
