You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
