We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
