he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
