After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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