I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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