I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
