More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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