is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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