you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
