I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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